Saturday, October 27, 2012

Homeless in Houston

Think of the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Then punch yourself in the face, light your hair on fire and put your hand in running blender. That's what apartment hunting in Houston is like. Minus all the blood and skin transplant surgeries it's pretty much identical.

After recently landing a long-term sub position at a neighboring Junior High we decided it was time to spread our wings in the big city and get our own digs. Unfortunately Houston is confused and it is ridiculously expensive to rent and super cheap to buy. Thus begins our story...

The first place we checked out seemed nice and it was only 750 a month. Did I lie to them about how many kids we had so we could get the 2 bedroom instead of the 3? YES! Did Mandy like that? NO! If anyone knows Mandy, you'll know that she has a thing about lying. Something about being immoral and blah blah blah. So that place was out.

The second place seemed great. As long as we liked drugs, gangs and possible sudden death. So that didn't work.

The third place was a go! But then one thing after another fell through until we realized you don't have to be catholic to believe in signs. So we waived goodbye to all the hispanic children and women with babies feeling discouraged and a bit confused at why we were here.

If you're waiting for this to end well, just stop. It doesn't end well. It might in the future but for now, no. No it does not.

On our way home we drove past some apartments that, well they were really something! We walked in feeling immediately underdressed and out of place. Imagine Julie Roberts in Pretty Woman trying to buy new clothes. That was us.

She sat us down and said, "What's y'alls price range?"

I replied in a low but confidant voice, "We were hoping to stay around 8 or 9 hundred!"

Mandy politely reminded me and alerted the kind lady that $900 was really our max. I just looked at the wall like there was something really interesting that needed my immediate attention.

The woman replied kindly, "I can get you into one of our 1 bedroom town homes easily." I feigned interest while Mandy reminded me and alerted the woman that we had 3 children.

After a moment I asked, "Well, how much are the 2 bedrooms?"

The woman replied, "It's out of your price range!"

The worst part of this story is that unlike Julia we didn't have a purse full of money to make her feel stupid with. Of all the times not to have a bag full of hundreds, this was not one of them. Lesson learned and please for anyone who reads this learn from our lesson.

Houston, Texas USA
Mobile Photography

(Part of what makes the pictures in
the Mobile Photography Portfolio
 so cool is the danger of taking
them while driving. I think it's really going
to catch on!)
In reality the woman was very kind and gave us a number to another woman who works on referrals helping people "like us" find a place to call home. To make a long story a bit shorter, this lady is great. She sent us a list of about 20 properties the next day. After weeding out the ones that are too far away or too expensive we were left with 7. After visiting some, being turned away from others for having too many children and really loving one that was way out of our price range, we are back at square one. Just as a reminder square one is homeless paying a University 2000 miles away money to work full time for free. It's actually quite glamorous in real life but comes out a little rough on paper.

So here we sit waiting for a second list. Assuming our agent hasn't given up on us this week will probably be filled with more searching that will hopefully result in a happier tale. Until then I encourage all of you to always carry a bag full of hundreds and never, I repeat never search for places to rent in Houston. Unless you like drugs, roaches and the possibility of death
in your sleep then hey have an adventure!


  1. Praying for you guys. Thanks for making this humorous, even though I'm sure it's really not!

  2. Praying for you all, I miss you guys:( thanks for the update!